Kojo Baffoe: Why I love my very modern, very mixed family

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South Africa is a potjiekos of cultures and identities. Where we come from makes us who we are. A celebration of the power of heritage, and an acknowledgement that diversity can be complicated in more ways than one. 

Kojo_Heritage

by Kojo Baffoe*

Making sense of identity in South Africa is a minefield. I once did a series of talks on Race And Identity to a group of high school students as part of the Spirit of Youth programme run by the Gordon Institute of Business Science in Johannesburg.

My opening line was “I am half-Ghanaian, half-German from Lesotho living in South Africa.” We have three different nationalities in my immediate family. When you add our extended family, there are two more, English and South African. There are some who say I hit the jackpot when it comes to the ‘biological lottery’, but I can claim it because I had no hand in my parents deciding to bring me into this world.

I went to a school with over 30 nationalities in Lesotho. I was exposed to multiple cultures and had to learn how to navigate them while trying to figure out my place in this world. I went to university in Durban during the transition into democracy. I have drawn from these different cultures, in addition to those of my heritage, as well as the places I have lived.

I have found my place, yet living in South Africa means a constant struggle to claim that space when race continues to be the main definer, even when we attempt to sweep it under the carpet.

There are few things as painful and as difficult to deal with as when your two-year old son looks at you in earnest and asks, “Daddy, what colour am I?” Trying to prepare your children for a potentially harsh and divisive world, while working hard not to project your own prejudices onto them, is not for the weak. As with most things parenting, there is no manual to deal with this.

I take pride in my heritage and cultures. I believe that knowing and understanding your roots is important. I embrace all aspects of mine as much as possible, mixing the elements in one calabash. I take what works for me and makes sense to me and I build on it.

It does make it a little confusing for my children, particularly my son who is 8 years old and, like his 4 year old sister, has German and Ghanaian names while being South African. Their immediate family has roots in different parts of the world and even within South Africa, they stem from various provinces and from different cultural groups.

For his eighth birthday party, the theme was football, and everyone had to come dressed up in their favourite team’s jersey. Being a football fan, and a lifelong supporter of Ghana’s Black Stars and Germany’s Die Mannschaft, there is an abundance of Ghanaian and German jerseys in my house. While I have a Bafana Bafana kit, it isn’t something that comes out often.

In that moment, it occurred to me that while I went through the journey of finding myself amidst my cultures and ‘home countries’, my children are going to have to do the same. All I can do is expose them to the beauty and power of each. They will have to find their identity on their own because I do not have all the answers.

* Kojo is a writer, poet, blogger, media consultant (television and print), columnist and the former editor of Destiny Man. He is currently based in Johannesburg, South Africa.

** This article first appeared on the Change Exchange, an online platform by BrightRock, provider of the first-ever life insurance that changes as your life changes. The opinions expressed in this piece are the writer’s own and don’t necessarily reflect the views of BrightRock.

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