I’m a big fan of Lucy Kellaway. The FT columnist has a knack of turning everyday experiences into a fascinating read. The closest any South African comes to Lucy, IMHO, is the author of this piece, Biznews.com’s own Heather Dugmore. The lady farmer, book author and columnist has provided all the ingredients of an excellent blog in this contribution – personal experience, humour and a softly delivered but important message. Customer service hits new lows during the Silly Season. Why we tolerate it is beyond me. Heather obviously feels the same. – AH Â Â
âItâs the silly season.â
If one more person tells me the reason they have failed to achieve the simplest bit of business is because itâs âthe silly seasonâ, I am going to down tools, head for the Keg & Springbuck and immerse myself in brandy and coke, affectionately known asân klein poeiertjie here in the rural Eastern Cape.
Three weeks ago I tried to order brake pads from a dealer in Port Elizabeth – that Eastern Cape port city widely renowned as a vehicle mecca.
My need was simple â order the brake pads and have them couriered to the town closest to our farm, which is Middelburg.
Middelburg, as the name suggests, is in the middle of South Africa, and very much on the main route for couriers. The only snag, or so I thought, is that they sometimes get Middelburg Eastern Cape and Middelburg Mpumalanga mixed up, if you donât etch the province on the parcel.
âNo problem with the order,â the dealer assured. âWe donât have in stock but weâll order the brake pads from our dealer in Gauteng, theyâll courier them to us and weâll courier them to you. Should take a day, three at the outset. Itâs good that youâre ordering them now because you donât want your disks scuffing.â
I hadnât contemplated this until the brake pads failed to materialise after two weeks and I started experiencing scuffed disk anxiety attacks. I phoned the dealer to ask what was happening.
âYouâll never believe it but the courier broke down,â he said.
âFor two weeks?â
âWell, it is the silly season.â
âWhat now, and why canât they courier them directly to Middelburg?â I asked.
âThey canât,â he said, âbut donât worry, theyâll be here tomorrow.â
The next day I phoned to make sure everything was on track.
âThereâs a little problem,â the dealer replied. âThey sent the wrong brake pads, but no problem the correct ones are on their way and youâll have them in a jiffy.â
With my irritation rising I could not withhold from telling him that a small business transaction was turning into something that it should not.
âLike I said, itâs the silly season,â he repeated.
The next day I phoned him again. He had assured me he would phone me when the brake pads arrived, but of course he hadnât.
âGood news, the brake pads have arrived,â he said. Not even bothering to discuss the lack of phone call, I said: âThat is good news, so I presume theyâll be couriered today?â
âIâll do my best but Iâm helluva busy,â he said.
âTelling me that youâll do your best is not what I want to hear. I want to know that those brake pads will definitely be couriered to me today!â I said, feeling myself rapidly ascending an anger peak from which it was going to take a while to abseil down.
âLook, Iâm doing you a favour. I have to drive across town to drop them off at the courier,â he said.
I wonât even share the dressing down he got about who was doing whom favours. Needless to say, he promised that he would deliver the brake pads to the courier and that I would receive them the next day.
The next day when I could not raise the dealer at all, I phoned the courier and asked if there was a parcel for me on its way. No such parcel, they said.
When I finally got hold of the dealer, his first words were: âI have fired my mechanic.â
I asked him what this had to do with my brake pads. âEverything,â he replied. âI asked my mechanic to deliver them to the courier and instead he went to the bar and got drunk.â
I went silent. My rage was gone; everything was gone. No wonder Chinese stores run by Chinese people who cannot speak a word of English are putting South Africa out of business. Iâm sure if Iâd gone to the Chinese shop in Middelburg, they would have produced the brake pads from under the counter, next the Savanna cigarettes.
You want to know the outcome of this story?
It isnât over. When I asked the dealer whether he promised to personally deliver the brake pads to the courier, he said:
âI canât promise. After I fired the mechanic he drove off with your brake pads in his vehicle. But when I have a moment I am going to try and find him.â