20 reasons why one shouldn’t give a rat’s ass

Ronnie Apteker
Ronnie Apteker

The older you get the more you learn to laugh, especially at yourself. I take my work seriously, but I try never to take myself seriously. Laughter is good for the soul. Now, not to say that everything is a joke. Life has been said to be a serious business, but without laughter, it is much harder on the soul. They say life begins at 40, or is that 50. Whatever the number is, life truly begins, I believe, when you learn to laugh at the things that happen to each and every one of us. The text below embraces that spirit. Forward this gem with all those close to your heart – it will make their souls smile. – Ronnie Apteker

From Coolfidence

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my age, I don’t really give a rat’s ass anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs, and hops, and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run, and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so.

Smile_Slider_April_2016

Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:

  1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
  3. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
  6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
  7. Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
  8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
  9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
  10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
  11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
  12. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.
  13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.
  14. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
  15. It is not hard to meet expenses…they’re everywhere.
  16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter…I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after”.
  18. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
  20. Have I sent this message to you before…or did I get it from you?
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