After their five-nil whitewash of England in the recent Ashes series, Australia are predictably upbeat about their chances against the top ranked test side in the world – the Proteas – for their upcoming cricket tour to South Africa, but should they not be doing all their talking off the field?
By Michael Marnewick
Cricket is a funny old game. Australia lost the bragging rights with a three-nil Ashes loss to England in England in early 2013, regained the Ashes with their emphatic thumping of a rather hapless, helpless and emotionally broken England side in Australia, and boy are they bragging about it.
It started before the five match series and has continued unabated.
Michael Clarke was fined 20% of his match fee by the ICC after he was captured on mic telling Jimmy Anderson to “get ready for a f**king broken arm” which is mild banter in an Australian sense. David Warner suggested after England’s 381 run capitulation in the opening test that Jonathan Trott’s dismissal was “pretty poor and pretty weak”. Trott’s response was to fly back home to England citing a stress-related illness.
Sledging and Australian cricket go hand in hand like tinnies (cans of beer) and a barbie (braai). Some might argue that sledging is all part of the game, but perhaps not when it gets personal.
Peter Siddle suggested that Australia’s bowling attack was better than the Proteas, the number one ranked test playing nation in the world. They have warned that there will be a verbal barrage now that they have climbed to third place on the ICC Test rankings. David Warner agreed: “I think we are (the best attack).”
But perhaps the Aussies don’t always get it right and it occasionally backfires on them.
David Boon, sporting his trademark walrus moustache was a real cricketing character, said to have consumed 52 cans of beer on a flight between Sydney and London in 1989. It would have been on that tour during the second Ashes Test at Lord’s that Hughes said to Robin Smith after he played and missed: “You can’t bat”. After the next ball, which Smith hit to the fence, the batsman replied: “Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can’t bat and you can’t bowl.”
Back in 2003, 21-year old West Indian Ramnaresh Sarwan faced some Glenn McGrath words of cricketing wisdom. McGrath asked Sarwan condescendingly, “What does Brian Lara’s d – – k taste like?”
“I don’t know, ask your wife,” Sarwan replied.
During the 1982-83 series between Australia and England, Ian Botham marched to the crease and was asked by Australian wicket-keeper Rod Marsh, “How’s your wife and my two kids?”
Without a blink, Botham replied: “The wife’s fine, the kids are retarded though.”
One thing is certain. The Proteas are going to face some harsh words as the Aussies look to mentally unsettle the home side who have a point to prove. Perhaps they should take heed of former batsman Daryll Cullinan’s dispatching of his nemisis.
Legendary leg-spinner Shane Warne was never shy to have a word or two at the batsmen He had a hold on the South African right-hander, but on this occasion as Cullinan came to the wicket, Warne told him that he had been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate the Proteas.
“Looks like you spent it eating,” Cullinan replied.
Australia arrive in South Africa in February for a three match test series and three T20 Internationals.
