Feeling lonely behind your work laptop? You need an office spouse! The Wall Street Journal

___STEADY_PAYWALL___.After working remotely and only ever encountering colleagues via Skype, Slack or Google Hangout, I did a crazy thing: I bought a B&B. I thought it would be fun to cook a few eggs, meet interesting people and then get on with my day job. Mostly I wanted to engage with real humans, which is what I did as a journalist before the internet transformed the world of work. As it turns out, there's more to a bed and breakfast than laying on breakfast for a large group of people and whipping around the bedrooms and bathrooms before getting on with some reporting or editing work. An easier way to keep up the human engagement levels is an office spouse. The Wall Street Journal provides some useful tips on how to pick the right partner when you work alone. – Jackie Cameron How to find an office spouse when you work alone.By Alexandra Samuel(The Wall Street Journal) – Work relationships can be so strong and valuable that some people refer to their closest work mate as their office spouse: a confidant, collaborator and sounding board.But what about freelancers and remote workers, who spend their working lives outside of an office? They lose the benefits of a work spouse, but they arguably need them even more, since working independently can lead to feelings of isolation or deprive people of the benefits of collaboration.That is why I'm so grateful to have found my own "work wife": a colleague with whom I frequently co-work, and who is the antidote to the solitude of independent entrepreneurship. Whether I'm looking for a second opinion about something I've written, advice on a survey I've designed or just need someone who can discuss "Star Trek," my go-to resource is my co-working buddy.But there is no OkCupid for people who need a work mate rather than a life mate, so it takes a little creativity and legwork to find a co-working buddy.Here's what I've learned about finding a "spouse" over the many years I've worked solo.What to look forStart by reflecting on the kinds of colleagues and relationships that have helped or hindered you over the years. Do you thrive when you're surrounded by the energy of young co-workers – or when you have access to someone who's older and more experienced? Perhaps you draw inspiration from colleagues who are cerebral and creative or grounded and calm. Do you want your workday companion to be an extrovert or an introvert, an intellectual debater or a playful buddy, a doppelgänger or your opposite?Obviously, you want to find someone who likes the same kind of work environment as you do (the hum of a coffee shop? the quiet of a rented co-working space?), but the geographical location of a workspace also matters. Find a buddy who lives or hangs out in the same part of town, such as a coffee shop that is midway between your respective homes, or – if you like separation between home and work – a neighbourhood that makes you both feel like you're "commuting."For people who find traditional workplaces productive precisely because they need to be surrounded with co-workers to stay energised for the entire workday, it can be helpful to choose a co-worker who stays on task during the times of day when you lose focus. My peak concentration hours are in the middle of the day; for my co-working buddy, it is early morning or late afternoon. When we meet up during business hours, my head-down work time helps keep her on track, and when I start to peter out in the late afternoon, her focus often inspires a final burst of productivity for me.Give some thought to the pace and structure of your work, too. I prefer co-working buddies whose routine includes at least some quiet solo tasks – if their entire workday consists of calls and meetings, they're too distracting. My co-working buddy and I schedule our co-working windows for days when we are both doing quiet, focused work (and can sit side-by-side in relative silence) or administrative tasks (and can chat while we catch up on invoicing or paperwork).Most important, think about how much professional overlap you'd like with your co-working mate. While it can be awkward to co-work with a direct competitor – do you really want to hide your phone every time you get a call from a prospective client? – it is nice to have some commonality, so that you can be professionally useful to one another.That is particularly true if you're the kind of person who benefits from a sounding board. I often talk through story ideas with my co-working buddy—a market researcher—or tap into her research expertise; she uses me to pre-game sales calls or edit occasional blog posts.Where to lookStart by making a list of all the friends and colleagues who are either self-employed or who work remotely. Don't limit yourself to people you're already close to: While my buddy and I were friendly when we worked in the same office, she's become my work wife only in the years since we both returned to working independently.What works in a co-working buddy is quite different from what works with a traditional office colleague. The colleague who drove you nuts because they never hit their deadlines might be fine as a work mate, once you're not dependent on their work. Conversely, the buddy you loved chatting with at the office water cooler could be distracting if you need to sit silently beside one another to get your work done.You may not be aware of how many people in your life qualify, so look through your social networks and figure out who else works on their own. Search Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook for posts that refer to working in coffee shops or co-working spaces, or post your own note saying you're looking for co-working buddies.If your existing network doesn't turn up anyone promising, it is time to do some focused networking. Go to events geared to indie workers, like workshops on time management for entrepreneurs or meetings of your local freelancers' union. It is a great chance to meet people you can co-work with – just make sure to stay for the post-panel schmooze. Meetup and Eventbrite are good ways to find these events; you might also subscribe to the events calendars of local co-working spaces.Once you identify a possible buddy, make a one-time date to work together for a morning or afternoon. Set expectations for how much you're going to interact. At least once during your test date, let your co-worker know that you need to return to your own work and see how they respond. You might also try bouncing some small work dilemma off them, to see if they make a useful sounding board. And if your date annoys you, extricate yourself diplomatically.Like any work marriage, a co-working relationship may have a limited lifespan. Recently, a day I long dreaded arrived, when my co-working buddy decided to return to office life and left me crying into my coffee cup. But our years of successful co-working have shown me the value of a really well-matched work mate, and I know I'll learn to love again.– Dr. Samuel is a technology researcher and the author of 'Work Smarter With Social Media'. Email reports@wsj.com.

Feeling lonely behind your work laptop? You need an office spouse! The Wall Street Journal

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