Dave Luis: How I took back my life after burning out at work

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There is a line between your working life and the rest of your life. Define it clearly, don’t cross it, and you’ll feel better and work smarter too.

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By Dave Luis*

You know what it’s like. You’ve got a new job, and you’re eager to impress, so you make yourself available all day and night, and every weekend. To prove your worth. To prove your dedication.

That’s how it started with me. A new role doing the thing I loved most. A dream job, but it soon turned into a nightmare of my own making. I created the problems, all by myself, by being too available.

It started small – Whatsapp messages after the rest of the team had gone home, confirming information, checking copy, challenging ideologies, giving immediate feedback on campaigns going live.

I got to the office earlier and left later than anyone else. For two reasons. Firstly, it’s a 48km trip to the office, and to brave that during the school run is madness. Leaving after 6pm means no rush hour. That makes my work day presence in the office 12 hours. A long day. But nothing I am averse to.

Except suddenly, what I had intended as ‘the extra mile’ soon came to be seen as the norm, and the expectations on me (by myself and everyone else) were raised incrementally over time I sold myself as the man who could do everything, all the tasks, all the hours of the day. Nights, too, and weekends.

Now the occasional weekend at the office is not a bad thing, and if it helps you prepare for a busy week ahead, go for it. Late nights, too, are a necessity because deadlines must be met and campaigns must be delivered. The success of your business often depends on it.

But I had created the expectation of working 12 – 14 hour days, and every weekend. Floods of often unnecessary Whatsapps resulted in me leaving dinners at friends to “quickly complete something for work.” And then it happened. Burnout. Anxiety. Stress. Exhaustion. I started making mistakes. I stopped caring. I stopped believing in myself and my ability to do the job.

I had relinquished my power, and my free time. I had created this mess. And there was no way I could turn around and say “You’re working me to death!” They weren’t. I was offering myself up for sacrifice because I had zero boundaries between my work and my personal time.

And I had to claw that back. For me, for them. It wouldn’t end well, otherwise.

The good thing is we’re all adults and we’re all humans. Sitting around a table and talking about my burnout was a good first step. But it was not up to anyone but me to institute the boundaries I so badly needed.

I started small. No more than 10 hours a day at the office. The work would still be there in the morning. Then I moved onto the Whatsapps. I had to have some courageous conversations with colleagues about Whatsapping me out of office hours. Stern, but not harsh. Reminding them that the Whatsapp groups and messages were for critical emergencies only. Not thoughts on a line of copy. Not critiques about images. Not reminders of a meeting two weeks in the future. For that there is email, and emails get read during office hours.

Absolute dedication to critical deadlines means I will still have late nights and weekends at the office. But it’s important to know that those will not be for every single task.

It’s great to be dedicated and passionate about my work. But I’m no good to anyone if I am burnt out, with no chance to recharge my batteries. I took back my free time. And I’m more effective and engaged when I am at the office, as a result.

Try it. You owe it to yourself.

* Dave Luis is the poster boy for “had it all, lost it all – starting over from scratch”. Dave is a prolific blogger and is incredibly passionate about food (more about this on his Instagram and blog). 

** This article first appeared on the Change Exchange, an online platform by BrightRock, provider of the first-ever life insurance that changes as your life changes. The opinions expressed in this piece are the writer’s own and don’t necessarily reflect the views of BrightRock.

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