*Made just for you by BrightRock
Why do some people handle change well, treating each challenge as another opportunity for growth, while others get stuck or collapse in despair? In Change in One Generation, a podcast made just for you by BrightRock, Ruda Landman and Dr Frank Magwegwe, listen to stories of people whoâve made the proverbial journey to success. They open the black box of successful change, finding tools we can all apply.
âI meet too many people who will not take the support that is available because of a stigma, that itâs a sign of weakness. I am anything but weak. I take these meds just like I took the meds and had the operation when I broke my ankle.â
Listen here
GIBS academic Dr Dorothy (Dots) Ndletyana grew up in Ennerdale, south of Johannesburg. She worked for a masterâs degree at Wits University and a doctorate at Columbia in New York. As she celebrated that achievement, part of less than 2% of the global population with a PhD, her private world fell apart. Her brother committed suicide. Her father reverted to alcoholism and died within a few months. Her mother was diagnosed with dementia and also passed away within a year. Telling us the story as part of our podcast series, she remembers that crash: âAs the young people say, I wanted to un-alive myself.â Her sister heard the âgoodbyeâ in a seemingly ordinary conversation. âThree hours later, we drove through a gate saying âPsychiatric Clinicâ.â
Psychiatrist Dr Willem Landman points out that all change is stressful. International research has found an increased incidence of schizophrenia and psychosis among people who have undergone intense change, though not all psychiatric illnesses are that severe. The change our studio guests experienced, growing up in often dire circumstances and making the journey to a professional career within a decade or two, could throw anyone off balance. âAny big change can lead to an adjustment disorderâ,â he explains. âIt differs from depression or anxiety, though it can present as part of a larger pattern.â Well-meaning friends can put even more pressure on the person, making them feel weaklings who cannot pull themselves together.
Driving through that gate marked âPsychiatric Clinicâ was âshocking,â says Dots. âItâs like, something is wrong with me. This is the depth I have sunk to.â The medical aid paid for three weeks as an in-patient. âIt was a gift. I rediscovered who I was. I discovered that I love being alive. I want to be alive.â With the understanding she gained, she can now say, âI have never been afraid to get help. This was just, âYouâre depressed, you may have a chemical imbalance, take some meds, have some talk therapy, get some exercise, get taken out of what is stressful and come into a holding space for three weeks.â I understood what I had to do.â
âPsychiatric illness is a medical condition like any other,â says Dr Landman. âAs with any illness, the longer you wait before you access the right treatment, the worse it will get.â Three weeks is very short, but in that time, âWe can help you can find resilience, the power to move on. We can help you to help yourself. We can put your foot on the first stepping stone so that you can find your way.â
âI could reflect on my values,â says Dots. âI discovered my life isnât quite what I want it to be. Iâm saying yes to people at work who donât care about me. Iâm sacrificing myself, my time, my effort, my talents, doing a job that dials up my anxiety.â Back at work, her boss was not impressed. âHe tells me, âYouâve got this new thing of saying no. Iâm getting very irritated. I would like you to stop.ââ She did not. On the contrary, she started setting very clear boundaries, negotiating with the boss about what he wanted and what would work for her. Ultimately, she resigned, started teaching, and re-ordered her life.
She argues passionately that we should let go of the stigma around mental illness. âI meet too many people who will not take the available support because of a stigma that itâs a sign of weakness. I am anything but weak. I take these meds just like I took the meds and had the operation when I broke my ankle.â
Dr Landman also has to fight stigma and misunderstanding. He constantly has to point out to employers that psychiatric illness, just like physical illness, is no reason to retrench someone. âItâs like diabetes. If youâre diabetic and donât control your sugar levels, you can end up in an ambulance and have your foot amputated. If you follow the right treatment schedule, you can live completely normally. People around you may not even know you have a problem.â
Many people first reach out to support systems in their cultural environment, going to a spiritual leader or healer. While he understands that, Dr Landman also sees the downside: the time that goes by. âItâs a medical problem,â he stresses. âThe sooner you seek help, the more quickly you recover and the smaller the functional impairment.â
Like diabetes, psychiatric illness is often chronic. âI donât want the listeners to think âOkay, sheâs figured it all out,ââ concludes Dots. âI have to see my psychologist regularly. I have to exercise, I have to eat well, I have to sleep and rest. Despite doing all of that, it still gets too much sometimes, but I have never reached the depths I was at before where ending it looked like the only option.â
Change is stressful. It can make you sick. But there is help out there. You only need to reach out.
If you need help, you could contact one of the following: The South African Depression and Anxiety Group: www.sadag.org; 0800 70 80 90 Lifeline South Africa: lifelinesa.co.za; 0861 322 322 (also a WhatsApp chatline)
*Article written by Ruda Landman
*Are you thinking about making a change in your life? Head over to the Change Exchange to start the Change Programme â an interactive course made just for you by BrightRock â that can help you better navigate change with the help of science.
Read also:
