SLR Diary: Why I’m switching to the ZACP’s Purple Cow

CAPE TOWN — This week’s satirical review of global news by Simon Lincoln Reader renders events a great deal more palatable – providing a much-needed tonic to the undiluted reality. He takes jabs at the trendy-left (including the “delusional” liberal SA elite who believe a Cyril Ramaphosa-led ANC is the only remaining option), sexually repressed Brits, and intriguingly, endorses the latest political kid on the SA block – the Capitalist PartyComing to the defence of a very sensible Chelsea Clinton, he questions the insane logic of her critics in linking her criticism of a US Congresswoman’s anti-semitism to the Christchurch mosque massacre. Yes – it’s not all satire. Less seriously, Reader’s take on British bureaucracy trying to temper the digital porn tsunami is highly entertaining. He also finds it almost beyond belief that no South Africa political party has yet ‘’weaponised,” the ANC’s failed policies to build an effective electoral platform – and puts his money on the new Capitalist Party which is breaking the mould by refusing to kow-tow to dominant cross-party political correctness. – Chris Bateman

By Simon Lincoln Reader*


Surprisingly impressed by two women I would ordinarily consider right-on cultural Marxists: New Zealand’s Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, and Bill and Hillary Clinton’s daughter, Chelsea.

The former stood her ground on Friday against a shrieking reporter eager to bait Jacinda into the false equivalence between the events in Christchurch and Islamic State or ISIS. To her credit she was calm and eloquent, unwilling to entertain this preposterous idea increasingly beloved by the modern left.

A few hours later Chelsea was confronted by some spitting, Free-Palestine-Buzzfeed-activist types, who accused her of being complicit in the atrocity. Previously Chelsea had again impressed me by rightly condemning that idiot Congresswoman Ilhan Omar for her own rasping anti-semitism: according to the unwashed protestors, it was this condemnation which compelled Brent Tarrant to murder 49 people.


Whenever a non-Muslim commits an atrocity, I study the modern left’s reflex on social media. There is now well-trodden form: the first thing they do is repost an article with their own commentary, usually smug, something like “Newsflash: it’s NOT Muslims”. The second thing they do, evident in the wake of the Christchurch massacre, is associate them shame individuals and groups who they consider partially if not directly responsible, on account of said individual’s views on subjects such as free speech, immigration – even government regulation. If you do not conform to this limited woke agenda…well I’m sorry, but you killed those people, you bastard.

This modern left claim solidarity with victims, but this asymmetrical commentary reveals something else: they’re really using the tragedy to advance their own views, popularity and even livelihoods.


SLR diaryAn imminent blow to masturbators in the UK. The Digital Economy Act begins in April, and to watch their porn, the legions of Clives and Keiths from Land’s End to John O’Groats are going to have to i) provide their credit card details to government approved porno companies (LOL) or ii) buy a GOVERNMENT APPROVED “Porn Pass” for GBP8.99 from a NEWSAGENT.

To grasp the potential impact here of this sneaky state manoeuvre, watch the second season of Extras, written by Ricky Gervais. In a piece of nuanced exceptionalism, one episode features a partially spastic but no less despicable character called “Count Fuckula” (“coz when I see something,” the moron says, “I have to f*&k it”). In any other country, such a character would be absurd, stupid, but here it’s brilliant, because at some point we’ve all encountered an epic loser, living near an airport, obsessed with his John Thomas. The British, I suspect, are the biggest wankers in the world.


During a discussion with Alec this week the subject of a new political party – The Capitalist Party of SA (ZACP) – emerged. Initially dismissive, I read a report of the party’s launch shortly after the interview and immediately saw the name of my friend Roman Cabanac. So I read more. Then I saw Duncan McLeod’s name.

In my teens I volunteered for the DA. In the early 2000s I joined the ANC – until 2005. Even though I worked briefly with the ACDP in 2014 to defend Israel against the blatant anti-semitism conspired by BDS with the support of the ANC, I considered myself homeless.

I believed that one day I would find my home in Britain’s Conservative party. I was mistaken. Today’s Tories are effete, careerist cucks whose skip to the left is nauseatingly similar to that of the DA’s. The Corbyn/McDonnell/Abbott axis will, if elected, prompt a humanitarian, race and gender crisis and nowhere in SA or UK is immune from the irrelevant yet toxic swarms of identity politics and “intersectionality”. Until now.


Submission to the theory of entitlement is common amongst the Parkview liberal elite: central to the argument “I support Cyril because there’s no-one else” is the subconscious delusion that somehow the ANC should continue to lead, or deserves to. The worst of the ANC has always been strengthened by this white guilt: in the mid 2000’s it mutated into an enabler toward bent interests. And it hasn’t stopped.

I can’t ever remember a party speaking as the ZACP did at its launch. Objective, clear, considered and importantly, absent of peak wank terms such as “inclusiveness”, “social justice” and “climate justice”. The ANC isn’t going to get the bloody nose it so deserves from weak Mmusi; the only way this will happen is by the weaponisation of ideas that ridicule policies that the ANC stubbornly refuses to acknowledge have failed – then perpetuates them to the world. From what I’ve heard and read, the ZACP has some very, very good ideas indeed. I’m in.

  • Simon Lincoln Reader lives in London.