Putting satirists out of business; Simon Lincoln Reader’s latest targets

How would Duduzile Zuma fare in a crazy First World context like the UK or USA? Just splendidly, says Simon Lincoln Reader, going on to handsomely illustrate Hunter S Thompson’s dictum that, “when the going gets weird, the weird get going”. SA’s not so unusual in that the fashionably woke Dudu would be an exotic fish out of water in a different context. It’s comforting for us to be reminded that the world is rich in characters who render truth stranger than fiction, many of them hilarious for going on the attack when under siege. Like our modern-day Eschel Rhoodie, aka Jimmy Manyi, sticking it to the media by saying he’d take R20m if the Gupta’s offered it to him. Another Gupta ‘tjom’, Dudu’s father, is painted as a simple country boy (albeit with the mind of a jackal) and a poster-boy for the old-fashioned traditional Zulu male. But she loves him enough to distract ordinary people from their economic woes. A fun read for all but the woke and newly rich. – Chris Bateman

Duduzile parries provocation over Pater’s patronage

By Simon Lincoln Reader*

I’ve seen that naughty little cattle rustler Jimmy Manyi humiliated too many times over the last decade to take him seriously, but he was on form similar to the old SABC Hlaudi at that press conference on Friday. Seated next to Jacob Zuma’s daughter, Duduzile, he moved to shut down a question from a journalist seeking to examine her role in instigating July’s riots. Duduzile, who identifies as a feminist, did not reprimand Jimmy for what was obvious mansplaining. Odd no?

It is October and not a single of the 12 “masterminds” arrested for instigating the riots has been charged with treason. 6 are out on bail for ZAR5k – all of which ridicules the demands sounded at the time for Duduzile’s arrest: with that creep Jack Dorsey on her side, in exactly the way that he had previously sided with Hunter Biden, what were the chances?

Many people are scared at the lengths Duduzile is prepared to journey in defense of her father – many believe that her expressions did in fact provoke mayhem in July. But the spectacle of her appearance here – and what she generally says –  prompts consideration of what she would look like were her profile transported into American or British politics.

Tainted (Jacob Zuma, Jimmy Manyi). For more of Zapiro’s brilliant work, visit www.zapiro.com.

Would she be at the coalface of woke ideology in mainstream politics, in the Democrat’s “squad” of pretend radicals or on the lunatic wing of UK’s Labour? Most likely. Would she have a verified Twitter account with her pronouns in the bio and / or a profile pic of herself wearing a mask? Oh yes / quite possibly. Would she whine like that Facebook Karen Frances Haugen or laugh for the tv like that professional wine mom Kamala Harris? Absolutely. Would she attend a gala, at US$35k a plate, wearing a dress that featured the words, “TAX THE RICH”? You bet.

In London I imagine Duduzile would buddy-up to Claudia Webbe, an unhinged Corbynista currently in court for threatening to throw acid in someone’s face. The Guardian, BBC, HuffPost and all the other misinformation chronicles and biased agitprop would hustle for exclusives. In Washington she’d be feted by Vogue and Vanity Fair; the fake audiences of Colbert, Noah, Oliver, Corden et al would fake laugh as she appeared alongside all those crap wankers. And bugger calls for her arrest – there she could find well herself the beneficiary of Open Society political donations. In both countries she’d tap effortlessly into a rich vein of fashionable, anti-white rhetoric, but would probably be surprised to find that the majority of anti-white sentiment comes from…educated middle-class whites.

But there is a contradiction in her logic that overwhelms the possibility – or tragedy – that she may be living in the wrong country: she is using profoundly woke logic to defend one of the world’s most unwoke individuals.

Jacob Zuma doesn’t fancy science much (“I had a shower afterwards” and “The ANC will reign until the return of Christ”). He calls adult women “ntombazana” (young girl). The only time he ever sounded remotely fashionable was at the speech he made shortly after hoofing Nhlanhla Nene – which he totally fisted. At times when he stumbled painfully over prepared notes on the subject of climate change at the UN, you could almost hear his thoughts: “damn that attractive young lady I saw sweeping near the departures terminal at OR Tambo when I left yesterday. What is this bloody carnet thing? What even is human trafficking?”

Most importantly: Zuma did not hate white people, nor did he seek to antagonise them in the way his predecessor did. It was only when white middle class university graduates in London coined the term “white monopoly capital” that he was encouraged to start using it. Jacob Zuma was and is a great many things – but a race-baiter he is not.

Which fatally undermines the recalcitrant Jimmy and Duduzile’s stratagem. Also, it reveals the crisis central to race or gender ideology: people believe this nonsense only – only – to leverage benefit.

  • Simon Lincoln Reader works and lives in London. You can follow him on Substack.
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