SLR: “The real baddies of the future”

Simon L. Reader offers his insight into the contemporary political realm and all the spectacles that have erupted. He delves into some stories of the politicians of our time, stating that “(t)he real baddies of the future (even present), I suspect, will be the people who once captured your interest, appeared competent, prioritised service, then one day reverse ferreted, then invested, without your consent or support, into the plotting of unelected, dark money organisations or individuals who committed blatant democratic infractions, and who feel no longer feel any obligation to explain themselves.” Find the opinion piece below. – Carmen Mileder

SLR: My worst politicians

By Simon Lincoln Reader*

For the uninitiated, Kwanzaa is a fake “holiday” celebrated only by white, middle class, Guardian-reading degenerates in the US who appointed themselves to speak for black people. Amusingly it escapes these brain-damaged wojaks that in fact the FBI created this “holiday” as a synthetic Christmas to sow division within black communities. Too much Christianity, these evil bastards feared, could be to the respective races of the United States what the language Afrikaans was to Afrikaners – the foundation for an enduring cultural order. And they just couldn’t abide that. 

With the exception of Orange County in California and some other Republican states, Kwanzaa was big in the US last year, especially when that shrew of a Vice President, (Karmen? Karla? Whatever – nobody knows who the hell that is) appeared on TV alongside someone called Doug or Dennis who appeared to be sweating bullets, like a drawing pin had been lodged into his big toe. Kernala or Karen is the descendent of slave-traders, so wisely Doug or Dennis chose to do most of the stammering. Then it was time for Kwanzaa’s present the world – and it came in the form of a a book composed in part by a ginger princess from Montecito, California, who decided to share in it that she had a frost-bitten penis at her brother’s wedding (all other attendees were reportedly content with just the salmon). 

Watching the spectacles of Kaneisha and Dennis and Princess Harold prompted me to reflect upon a decade spent studying – and in some cases interacting with – public officials on 3 continents. My Christmas present to myself was therefore to create a list of the worst politicians in South Africa,the United Kingdom and America – then share it, with the hope it would be more honest than the garbage revealed in “Spare” (the fastest selling non-fiction – or fiction – book ever, the latest indictment of our failing civilisation). 

In South Africa, I liked some ANC politicians, notably Peneull Maduna and Dipuo Peters, both of whom I knew and found appealing. Of those I disliked, and there were many, Tina Joemat-Pettersson was No.1. Upon her appointment as Minister of Energy, I received an email from her: she might has well just have posted a methylated spirits-flavoured poo in a partially sealed envelope to the office. Happily, as you will recall, Ms. Joemat-Pettersson was so incompetent that she couldn’t even be corrupt: at her departure the DA thanked her for “the hurdles she unwittingly imposed upon Jacob Zuma’s Russian nuclear scheming.” 

In the United Kingdom I have always been spoiled for choice. Ed Davey, Jeremy Hunt, Ed Miliband, Nicola Sturgeon, Sadiq Khan, etc. But George Osborne, the former Chancellor of the Exchequer, a man of now no less than 5 jobs – including one he enjoyed a percentage of a substantial windfall in December – puts the bag in colostomy. His sadistic delight – something he was incapable of disguising – in the austerity he imposed was far more unpleasant to witness than, say, Fikile Mblalula’s cringe by trying to habituate himself into Floyd Mayweather’s entourage. 

And in America, whew boy. There’s Mitt Romney, a man who made a fortune by convincing companies to sack their workers – then helped himself to the savings made by sacking workers. Nancy Pelosi, who departed office having thrashed the market repeatedly, and Adam Kinzinger – the use case for why multiple psychological examinations should be mandatory for politicians wishing to own social media accounts. There’s Karmel, Dan Crenshaw, Ted Lieu and Scott Weiner too. But Adam Schiff, the former Chair of the House Intelligence Committee, is a unique breed of sociopath: I still maintain this creep will visit South Africa, that Beijing24 will secure bragging rights, and that the audience will consist only of the foraging / data monkey community of Cape Town’s city bowl, all nodding as he suggests that anyone who calls pedos “pedos” – instead of “minor attracted persons” – be incarcerated for life. 

I confess this list may be obsolete, that everything changed somewhere, and we’re still only finding traces. The real baddies of the future (even present), I suspect, will be the people who once captured your interest, appeared competent, prioritised service, then one day reverse ferreted, then invested, without your consent or support, into the plotting of unelected, dark money organisations or individuals who committed blatant democratic infractions, and who feel no longer feel any obligation to explain themselves. At the very least, the ones who try turn Christmas into Kwanzaa.

  • Simon Lincoln Reader works and lives in London. You can follow him on Substack.

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