In his satirical article below, Simon Reader points out the ridiculous nature of the current debate raging at Cambridge University over slavery. No one denies the horror and cruelty of slavery, but as various TV presenters outdo each other with virtue signalling and outrage, Reader quotes virtually unknown research by historian Hilary Fordwich on the subject of reparations. She mentions that 2,000 British sailors lost their lives on the high seas attempting to end slavery. If the reparation agenda is to be considered, Fordwich argued, then it should include the sacrifice of these men too. What also wasn’t mentioned is the role the richest man in the history of the world played. In today’s money Mansa Musa of the Malian Empire would be worth $400bn. Unfortunately old Mansa’s extraordinary wealth came with a dirty secret: he owned 12,000 slaves. Meanwhile, slavery is flourishing in the open air markets of Libya as we speak, while Chairman Xi is sterilising Uyghur women and forcing them into camps. – Sandra Laurence
Smoking nyaope and talking nonsense
By Simon Lincoln Reader*
There’s about to be a nice conference at Cambridge University which will “ask questions of reparations for slavery in the age of equity”. Personally, I don’t think they’re going far enough with just a bunch of surrender-monkey white academics beating themselves on stage in spastic fits. I think they should also include drag queens as ushers for the event, especially for children between the ages of 3 and 5 – for whom attendance should be mandatory. It’s also a great opportunity to score another house in California – a scam within a scam – and that would require a contemporary interpretation of an 80s-style television evangelist raging at the white audience to repent and fork out.
As a rule I don’t smoke nyaope before company or industry presentations, but people like CNN’s Don Lemon and Christiane Amanpour and MSNBC’s most underrated wankers in Mehdi Hassan, Richard Stengel and Ali Veshi clearly feel differently. After a week of stupid remarks about slavery and reparations in the wake of Elizabeth II’s state funeral, I can only conclude there was a huge amount of nyaope smoking going on in their respective network studios – even more so than when Hlaudi was practising voodoo stuff at the buffet table on the top floor of the SABC (wasn’t used for much else as I understand). I don’t wish slavery upon anyone, but I think someone like (again) MSNBC’s Elie Mystal, who looks like a shit Don King about to catch diabetes from the conveyor belt of Ben & Jerry’s in his bedroom, should get a real job, and stop talking rubbish about mythical extremists.
The history of slavery is dark, brutal, tragic – and well documented. The history of the end of slavery is courageous – and virtually unknown. This is because so many academics employed by prestigious universities are cursed with a pathological condition known as present-ism – meaning that for whatever reasons, most likely current-thing commercial expediency or just plain virtue signalling, these idiots are determined to measure historical events according to tomorrow’s standards.
Back to Don Lemon. After 5 days of demanding reparations, or putting his hands in his trousers then shoving them in someone’s face – as he likes to do – Lemon interviewed another historian called Hilary Fordwich on the subject of reparations. Fordwich spoke of the virtually unknown – the fact that 2,000 British sailors lost their lives on the high seas attempting to end slavery. If the reparation agenda is to be considered, Fordwich argued, then it should include the sacrifice of these men too. What wasn’t mentioned in Fordwich’s stunning appearance is the role the richest man in the history of the world played. In today’s money Mansa Musa of the Malian Empire would be worth $400bn. Unfortunately old Mansa’s extraordinary wealth came with a dirty secret: he owned 12,000 slaves. But the stinky-fingered anchor was trapped, and quickly terminated the interview (I wouldn’t be surprised if some poor CNN staffer wasn’t issued a warning for arranging some facts to surprise us with).
Thanks to the work of another Hillary – Clinton – and her co-conspirators of “democracy(!)” or the “liberal rules-based order”, slavery is flourishing in the open air markets of Libya. There’s the Uyghurs and the projects initiated by Chairman Xi to sterilise Uyghur women, or force them into camps making useless objects and cheap sneakers (apparently there are not enough sea turtles with shoelaces caught in their mouths). But Joe Biden, nicely juiced up with at least a quart of Adderall for Her Majesty’s state funeral, wouldn’t know anything about China, in the same way he’s never had anything to do with his parmesan-snorting son’s businesses.
In Pakistan, India, the Philippines, Iran – on the stadiums built for this year’s farce of a World Cup – there’s slavery. In DRC, North Korea and Nigeria too. In England, Irish maplotters lure unsuspecting, impoverished young men from Romania and Bulgaria to pick their vegetables or race their dogs.
My grandfather was born in Germiston and upwardly mobile-d himself to Cambridge, where he won a Blue for boxing and graduated with honours before joining the RAF. Were he alive for me to show him the dump that place is today, thanks largely to a Canadian cuckold called Stephen Toope, I doubt he’d encourage anyone to apply. A better option would be the Rock of Springs Technical College back in Germiston, where you leave the same sex you entered with – and, unlike gender or nonsense grievance studies, learn stuff which you can actually use, like boiler making or diesel mechanics.
- Simon Lincoln Reader works and lives in London. You can follow him on Substack.
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